Once upon a time...

Once upon a time in a place far, far away, there was a city named Detroit. There lived a family who was on welfare and food stamps. The man of the family, Frank, had two of his own children named Hans and Gretchen, named due to their Dutch heritage. He used to work at a local auto maker factory, but due to hard times within the corporation the factory had to close down, leaving him jobless. His first wife died due to her getting into a tragic circus accident in which she was trampled by an elephant, and remarried a new woman named Penelope. The only reason why he married her was based on her looks alone and the children hated her. She was always rude to the children and despised them passionately.
One day, the bills kept on piling up and also the available money and food stamps they had for food ran low. “I hate your kids. I hope they get run over by a friggin’ bus,” said the mean wife to her husband. “See? Why do you have to say things like that? When you say things like that it makes you look like more of a bitch than what you really are,” said Frank. “Shut up you moron. It’s been over a year and you still haven’t found a job. How incompetent are you?” asked Penelope. Frank, muttering to himself, said, “I hope you get a bad case of diarrhea, woman.” “What did you just say?” Penelope asked. “Nothing…” replied Frank. “Okay, desperate times call for desperate measures. Look, I’m hungry, you’re hungry, and the kids are eating food that we could be eating. Let’s give them the boot and make them live off the streets” stated Penelope. “What? I’d never do such a thing!” exclaimed Frank. “If you don’t kick them out, I’ll stop having sex with you” said Penelope. “You got a deal” said Frank.
So Hans and Gretchen were kicked out of their shoddy trailer house and were forced to fend for themselves and scrounge for food. They were dropped off at the outskirts of the city near a forest and were left to die. Luckily, being the smart kids Hans and Gretchen were due to their public school education, they found their way back to their house and took shelter in there until finally the evil stepmother found out what they were doing. As soon as she knew that the kids were back in the trailer house, she made Frank take them back out to a different location on the outskirts of the city where the kids would never be able to find their way back home.
Hans and Gretchen were now in a place they had no clue was located at. So instead of going into the city to look for food and shelter, they decided to go into the nature preserve they were dropped off near. They made their way into the forest, but knew that they’d want to get out of there sometime, so Hans left a trail of skittles on the ground to find their way back. Sure, they could eat the Skittles and stay alive longer, but both of them had an abnormal fear about eating them. It was probably caused by the traumatic episode the kids had a few years back involving the giant talking M&M’s where the red M&M, which was actually a guy in a suit, attacked them both. Sure, M&M’s and Skittles are both different, one being a sweet fruit flavored candy, the other being a candy coated chocolate treat, but one must admit, they both look the same.
As Hans and Gretchen were making their way into the nature preserve forest, they started to smell something delicious. As they followed their noses to the delicious aroma, they started to see a small house. As they got closer they noticed that the house wasn’t made of bricks or wood, but was in fact made of delicious apple pie. Apple pie, one might ask? That wouldn’t hold up to be walls or even have enough strength to hold up a roof. This wasn’t ordinary apple pie though, it was magical apple pie. It was pie that could be stacked 4 stories high and not even fall down. Any who, back to the story, Hans and Gretchen immediately started taking bites out of the walls of the house. They were so hungry they didn’t even bother to ask who would build a house out of apple pie. As soon as they were done with one corner of the house, they passed out. Little did they know that the woman who baked the apple pie walls placed roofies in the pies.
The children awoke hours later in a daze. Gretchen was placed in a dog kennel, and Hans was handcuffed to a apple pie column. They saw an old woman with a huge pot making some sort of stew… a stew without meat. The children asked what she was doing and she replied, “I’m having you for dinner.” The children were excited that they were having a real meal for once, but realized later that they were actually going to be the dinner. As the old woman was coming towards Hans with a huge butcher knife, a S.W.A.T. team came into the house, kicking down the apple crust door, and shooting the old woman dead. Turns out that the old woman was number 5 on the FBI’s top 10 most wanted criminals in the US; her being number 5 because she was a cannibal who preyed on young unsuspecting homeless children. What luck the kids thought that the police came in at the right moment and killed the old woman. Turns out the house was being watched over the entire time and the authorities were waiting to catch the woman right before she would commit the murder that was about to take place.
After questioning by a few of the FBI agents and detectives, they decided to take the kids to a foster home. After a few weeks there, they were adopted by a loving family with a golden retriever, a big house, and a lot of money.